Hello, is anybody there?


I don´t even know where to start. I cannot even remember the last time I made a post here.
Alot has changed. I´m 24 now, still living in St Avanger, have a bachelors, starting a masters this year and I think I´m in love. But I´ll tell yall all that later on.

I forgot how therapeutic this blog was for me. I just walked in the door now from a New Years Eve party, pulled up my Mac and wrote this. Hmmmmmm...... Too many thoughts in my mind. I´m so happy that I am back. And I hope you´re still reading this blog.


black panther



I just to disappear. Nothing more. Just that. The pain is unbearable.



She sat there
In the midst of it all
Tried to gather herself
Lift herself
Comfort herself
She was surrounded by myths
By lies
By dreams
By unforeseen mysteries
She sat there
With all her might, her strength and dignity
Tried to gather herself
Govern herself
Humble herself
All for him
Something she hasn't tasted yet
Hasn't embraced yet
Hasn't admired yet
Hasn't envied it
She sat there
Just trying
For him.
Cuz she knew it was worth it.



Lover, come rescue me
Lover, glide me on the blue waves
Hold me
Laugh with me
Cry with me
Dance with me

Lover, don't you hear me?
I said come rescue me
Dust me off
Polish me brand new
Spice me up
Revive me



It echoed as I stared at him



a constant fear keeps embracing me

its limbs and fingers wrapping me in with white silk

so dull, yet comforting

it grabs each hair, flesh and dirt

blowing soothing winds upon me

dancing and swirling me across the ballroom floor

a constant fear

a lingering fear

a humming fear

an alluring fear

it´s what keeps me alive

black panther


Your Towel

At times you feel like giving up
Throw the towel in
Let the mocking start
Let them stare you down

Yet you keep wondering around
Going in circles
Waiting for the next best thing to come along 
Chained to that bench in your favourite park

Minutes turn into hours
Hours turn into decades
You´re still going in circles
Drifting in a circular existence 
Uniform and endless

Just like the fire burning within you
Telling you to give in 
Dive in
Lose yourself 

But the towel is stuck to you
Tighter than glue
Loyal like a mans bestfriend 
Yet rigid and spineless
like yourself 

black panther


Surrounded by these things 
I thought I had returned home

Enveloped by these branches
I felt there were two, not one

Embraced by this smell, full of light and laughter
I recognised it. I grasped it.I craved it.
I loathed it.
I repossessed it.

Continuously it kept stinging me.
Reviving me. Glorifying me. Condemning me. 
Nourishing me.

Surrounded by these things. These moments I hoarded.
These moments I mastered all seemed surreal, yet

Enveloped by these branches
Elation at it´s peak
Broke them all
And left one standing

black panther


Ethiopian King

I'm at it again. Just when I thought I had lost him. The smile he presented to me. Like a king worshipping his queen.
I'm at it again. These hands are burdened by the loss, absence and quietness of his mahogany. Every arch his body made made my hands tremble with joy. Divinest.
I'm at it again. His posture, his walk, his eyes. Like a lion marking its territory. Like a hunter strolling with pride across the brown and dusty ground. Like an Ethiopian king.
I'm at it again. On and on. And on. Till infinity. My hips, my thighs, my lips, the crown on my head and my feet are at it again. Till infinity.

Yet, his motions are less. His gestures are pointless. His smiles are dull.

But still I'm at it again.

black panther


bad timing?

Is there a thing as "bad timing"? Seriously, because I believe there is such a thing. Some people would disagree saying that using the phrase is just a weak excuse.
Well, I'm in the middle of a bad timing.
Apparently, my buddy J knows some guy who likes me. Some days ago he called and asked to hang out. It didn't seem odd, so I accepted the invite.
But look-a-here, we spent 5 days together. In a ROW!!! So during those days, the guy spills out that he likes me and stuff.
Day 3, we are chilling at my place (he is the first guy ever to enter my room....). The kissing started and I backed off. Like in a dramatic move. Sign??
I really got me thinking that I'm not ready for a relationship. I've spent 5 looooooooooooooooooong but nice years being single and I'm finally getting used to it. I'm just used to my own company........
I don't want to hurt him, but eyyy, it's inevitable, right? Better now than later.

Gosh. In one week. All this. I just can't wait to starting doing things without thinking. Lol, besides he has been occupying my thoughts that it's a danger to my school work. And I was the one who thought I could manage. Hah! Yet, my heart beats faster when I see him and a smile appears on my face. He has it all. I HATE THIS!!!

Anyways, sorry for the lack of entries. I bet you guys can guess why.
And I'm planning to post more photography. I need some feedback from you lovelies.

God Bless.

black panther; the girl destined to die a virgin, lol. 


This takes me back to UG, the food, the smiles, the crazy dance strokes etc.
Enjoy, fellow Africans and others! :)